Woman wants to outdo her neighbor with 'funny' Wi-Fi name and the suggestions are outrageous

Cecily Knobler
Wed, 26 Nov 2025 21:32:25 +0000
80s, 90s, Gen x, Millennials, 90s nostalgia, 80s nostalgia, Internet, Username, Funny, Threads, Reddit, Wi-fi

Picture this: you've just moved into a new neighborhood, and you're setting up your Wi-Fi profile. Mixed in with the boring AT&T/Verizon usernames, you see a few unhinged ones like "Red Dracula Main Street" and "Beware Neighbors." (The latter one was actually in my apartment building for a bit, and terrifyingly, I could never quite figure out who it was.)

A woman on Threads, who goes by the name Sacred Grape Tomato (@sacredgrapetomato), faced a similar issue, though for her, it was a hilarious plea to outdo her fellow online residents. Her short bio reads, "Another old woman trying to leave this place better than I found it." And she's certainly doing that.

She wrote, "Threads, I need some help. I just moved to this neighborhood. Everything was fine until today when I discovered that one of my neighbors named his WiFi, “Pretty fly for a WiFi” and I realized I’ve got nothing. All I can come up with is 'Girls just want to log on' but—overplayed. Please help me win the late 90’s early 00’s music WiFi naming contest that exists only in my head."

She then, as if stepping back from the question to think about it for a moment, adds, "Also, whose WiFi is pretty fly? There are only 4-5 houses in range. Is it the weird uptight old couple across the street? The chill guy next door seems too young for the reference. The other houses in range are a woman in her late 80s, a hermit family and a family that plays a bunch of mariachi music. It’s gotta be the guy born after the song came out, right?"

There are nearly 4,000 comments, and they've totally come through with genius suggestions.

Some stayed with the theme of '90s pop songs

"AScrubIsAWiThatThinkHesFi"

"Staceys Mom Has Got It Logging On"

"DontGoChasingFirewalls."

"DropItLikeItsHotspot"

A Threads user shares this WiFi user name. www.threads.com, Krown’d Locs (@krowndlocs) on Threads

One Threads user dropped a lot of suggestions all at once, all in the realm of '70s, '80s and '90s TV shows and movies

Prepare yourself.

"MagnumWiFi

WhereWereGoingWeDontNeedModems

YoureGonnaNeedABiggerRouter

HeyLaserLipsYourMamaWasASnowblower

TheseAreNotTheLANsYoureLookingFor

TheresNoCryingInBroadband

Tom Hanks yells "There's no crying in baseball!" Giphy No Way Smh GIF by Laff, A League of Their own

YippeeKiYayMotherRouter

OneDoesNotSimplyJoinMyWiFi

DontGoChasingWireless

NobodyPutsWiFiInACorner

Nobody puts Baby in the corner. Giphy Dirty Dancing GIF

IfYouWannaBeMyWiFiYouGottaGetWithMyLAN

AreYouStrongEnoughToBeMyLAN

ManIFeelLikeAWiFi

YouGottaFightForYourRightToWiFi

IveGotFriendsInModemPlaces

MyWiFiBringsAllTheBoysToTheYard

ImTooSexyForThisWiFi"

I'm too sexy gif Giphy Right Said Fred

These suggestions, of course, are bringing in tons of celebratory memes and virtual high-fives. Some people love them so much, they're changing their own Wi-Fi names and screenshotting to prove it.

For fun, I went over to Reddit to see if they had even more creative Wi-Fi name ideas and of course, they didn't disappoint either. Someone asked, "What are cool yet not cringy Wi-Fi names?" This got over 8,000 comments.

One hilariously suggested "ElderlySwingers." They explain, "The whole neighbourhood gonna be looking at everyone over 70 in your area wondering if they're the 'adventurous' couple."

Another sneaky Redditor joked, "When I was living in the city I called mine 'Taco Bell Guest' in hopes that someone thought to themselves, 'wait, there’s a Taco Bell near here?'"

This one was especially ridiculous: "One time when setting up the new modem for my parents as a kid I called the router Abraham Linksys. When I was looking at the network list a few weeks later I noticed that someone down the street named there's John Wilkes Blutooth." A person commented to that, specifically, "Cute and somehow threatening."

In a world where so many don't exercise their right to be funny (or to party for that matter), consider paying homage to something you love through your Wi-Fi name. If nothing else, it might just make a neighbor or two smile.