What makes kids popular in high school? Researchers found they share the same personality trait.

Tod Perry
Wed, 24 Sep 2025 18:50:47 +0000
Being likable, Confident and friendly, Cool kids, Good personality, How to be likable, How to be popular, Liking people, Popular kids, Popular traits, Prom king, Prom queen, Psychology concept, Reciprocity of liking, Recovering awkward person, Venessa van edwards, Dan buettner, Making friends

Every high school has a few "popular" students that almost everyone likes. They are often chosen to be prom king or queen and elected to the student council. They are the folks that everyone waves to in the hallways, and they are usually confident and friendly.

So, what are the traits that make certain people popular and others slink by with little recognition? Are the most likable kids also the most athletic? Do they have a higher GPA? Are they more extroverted? Are they funnier? Are they more attractive?

Communications expert Vanessa Van Edwards was recently on The Dan Buettner Podcast, where she shared the common trait that popular kids have in common. Van Edwards, who describes herself as a recovering awkward person, teaches communication skills at Harvard University.

Researchers discovered the trait after interviewing thousands of high school students and asking them to list the people they liked at school. It revealed a significant finding: popular kids had the longest lists of people they liked.

What traits do popular kids in high school share?

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The findings are straightforward: if you like a lot of people, many of them are likely to like you back.

Even though you may no longer be in high school, there are benefits to being popular in your workplace, church, or neighborhood. Van Edwards says we should all learn how to like other people if we want to be likable ourselves.

“Learn how to like," she told Buettner. "In fact, be free with your likes. The most popular kids were the ones who were first likers. In other words, they walked down the hallway and they say, ‘Hey, Dan. Hey, Sarah. Hey, Joy.’ They're the ones who walk into a class and be like, ‘Hey, you want to sit with me?’ They are inviters. They are likers. They are looking for good. And in that way, I think that we can train ourselves to be more likable by searching and hunting for likes."

@steven
Body language expert Vanessa Van Edwards reveals what makes kids popular and the common trait that all of them have ? Full episode on The Diary Of A CEO #podcast #podcastclip #interview #bodylanguage #tips #advice #tip #vanessavanedwards #expert #doctor #dr #didyouknow #popular #friends #diaryofaceo

There’s something very positive about the fact that people who like others are liked in return. It’s a great excuse to have an open attitude when meeting new people and to look for the good in everyone around you, even if they may be a little challenging to get along with.

What is the reciprocity of liking?

There is a concept in psychology known as the reciprocity of liking, which states that if someone likes you, you tend to like them back. Because when someone likes you, they are usually kind and supportive. Therefore, most people like those who like them.

However, there is one big caveat to this truth: People with low self-esteem often dislike themselves, so if someone shows them affection, they may not reciprocate because it makes them feel out of balance.

Ultimately, if you want to be the popular kid in any of your social or professional circles, you have to like yourself first. Because when you like yourself, there’s a much greater chance that you will like other people. This leads to a virtuous cycle of friendship growth, where you expand your social circle in a wonderfully positive way.